xxanger

'Smatta, you haven't found true love? Is your little life incomplete without a "soul mate"? Well, GIT YER HEAD OUTA YOUR ASS. You think true love exists? You think all these couples you envy would have hooked up if each person weren't after something other than love? Let's look at the 3 possible matchups:

1. Both people are good-looking. This matchup is based on looks alone. Everyone wants to have sex with the most physically attractive person they can find. The best looking people can have anyone they want, and they tend to go for other good-looking people. This is why homely guys like me have to whack off all the time.

2. One person is good-looking and the other one isn't. One of them is whoring themself. You think a pretty woman who marries a fat, bald CPA isn't dreaming of a big house and a Lexus? You think she actually looks forward to sucking his dick? When a soccer mom looks at her husband she sees a meal ticket, and when he looks at her he sees a trophy he can fuck.

3. Both people are ugly. These trolls are desperate. Each has settled for another hideous goblin because they know they can't get anyone else. Better to fuck a pig than their hand.

So let's review the reasons people choose their mates: sex, money, desperation. Is it a coincidence that the rich and the physically attractive almost always seem to find someone who claims to "love" them, while many of the poor and ugly don't? Of course not. What passes for love is really lust, greed and loneliness.

I think that marriage vows should be rewritten to truthfully reflect the real reasons two people get married. For example:

"I, Harry Paratesteez, promise to keep a roof over your head for as long as I feel like fucking you and as long as I don't catch you blowing the pool boy. Also, if you gain more than 20 pounds, this contract is null and void because I married someone thin and attractive and so you are expected to remain that way. No bait and switch here. Remember, I own my own company and I have three gorgeous secretaries who would gladly be my personal sex slaves because they're whores like you."

"I, Anna Lingus, promise to take your throbbing cock in my pussy, down my throat, and/or up my ass because I want to live in the 'burbs and there's no way I could afford to on my measly pay, inasmuch as I never got a four-year degree because I always knew that I could fuck and suck my way to material wealth. In fact, the only difference between me and a street hooker is that hookers at least admit what they're doing, while I prostitute myself under the guise of 'love'. I will stick with you for as long as you keep throwing money my way and you don't beat me too often. Even if you put on 30 pounds - which I know you will - I will continue to put out for you, because 15 minutes of coitus or fellatio is a small price to pay for clothing and cars and cable the other 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day."

If people would see marriage for what it is -- legalized prostitution -- then we could reduce the divorce rate to near zero. As long as people don't expect to feel "in love" all the time (as depicted in fairy tales and Hollywood movies) and they accept the fact that their partner is just a source of money or sex, then they will never feel that they've "lost the magic" or "fallen out of love" because there was never any frigging magic or love in the first place. And people who refuse to be in a wealth-for-sex arrangement wouldn't get married in the first place. But people are stupid, hypocritical shitheads. They refuse to acknowledge that any partnership is a tit-for-tat deal, so they enter into a legally binding arrangement based on the fraudulent claim that they will "love each other until death do they part." Asswipes.

# posted by xxanger @ 5:43 PM 0 comments